"Drawn"

How do I separate
These two things in my head
You said that they're separate
But I just don't see it yet

When I am drawn
To one
Not sure if it's over another
Replacing each other
I don't want
To choose
If it means losing the other
I'm losing my cover

And it's been so long
Since I've felt this strongly about anything
I try to carry on
Like I don't really care about anything
Feeling alive or feeling deprived
Why does it always feel that way
And is it ever gonna change

Why do you have to be
So far, so far away
Even when I'm next to you
You're at arm's length

And I'm drawn
To you
But I have to draw back
Just to leave it in tact
I don't want
To lose
I don't want to lose you

And it's been so long
Since I've felt this strongly about anything
I try to carry on
Like I don't really care about anything
Feeling alive or feeling deprived
Why does it always feel that way
And is it ever gonna change